


atychiphobia - hermitcraft

by angstwasfound



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstwasfound/pseuds/angstwasfound
Summary: he'll be fine.atychiphobia-the fear of failure; not being good enough.grian finds himself lost.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 168





	atychiphobia - hermitcraft

I didn’t mean for it to end like this.

  
  


You were mine. You were ours.

  
  


Yet, as I land on the cold white floor, I can’t help but feel like we’ve failed you.

  
  


Even its texture feels cold and dead. The end rods’ light has faded out. The suns’ beaming rays of light cast themselves on the floor, illuminating the edges of the floor and the sparkling waters of the ocean.

  
  


And still yet, you’re as lovely as ever.

  
  


It breaks my heart to see you like this. Mumbo shut you down properly last night, but smoke still rises out the top. Your expressionless eyes still have their call. Their call to me. It’s terrifying.

  
  


What’s also terrifying, is the seemingly endless pile of notes you left behind.

  
  


Hesitant steps echo through my ears as I walk. I don’t know why I’m here, or why tonight, but…

  
  


‘Happy fathers’ day!’

  
  


… I couldn’t just leave you behind now.

  
  


I begin picking up papers.

  
  


‘What is love?’

  
  


‘Are my thoughts mine or theirs?’

  
  


‘Am I their tool?’

  
  


Yikes.

  
  


It hurts me more than you could ever imagine, knowing I can’t answer any of these truthfully. At least, I can’t anymore.

  
  


‘Somebody please explain’

  
  


‘Is this the end?’

  
  


‘Was this a mistake?’

  
  


I should’ve stopped reading them the moment I saw one. I should’ve stopped the moment me and him left that day. But I’m here, again.

  
  


It feels like even the suns’ glow dancing in the water is judging me. Rightfully so, I suppose.

  
  


‘Can they save me?’

  
  


‘Was I made just to be destroyed?’

  
  


They’re just getting _worse._

  
  


‘Do they love me?’

  
  


‘Was I just filler?’

  
  


Stop.

  
  


‘Is this useless?’

  
  


‘They can’t save me.’

  
  


_Stop._

  
  


‘Am I going to be locked away?’

  
  


God, what have we done to you?

  
  


‘I’m just another reject.’

  
  


_Wait-_

Another… 

  
  


The papers scatter to the floor out of my hands. My chest starts to ache and pound as I scan over ones I’ve yet to read, all over the floor.

  
  


‘I’m going to end up like him.’

  
  


‘He knows he can’t help me.’

  
  


‘I’m another failure.’

  
  


No.

  
  


No no no no _no no no no-_

  
  


‘I’m worthless.’

  
  


‘I’m a pawn.’

  
  


I start to grab at ones that catch my eye.

  
  


‘I’m another broken monster.’

  
  


‘Should I have stayed not feeling?’

  
  


Not again-

  
  


I can’t _do_ this again-

  
  


‘I’m going in the closet.’

  
  


No.

  
  


The closet-

  
  


Oh no, he knows about the-

  
  


I start to cough up my own air. I feel the weight on my legs drop, hitting the hard floor under me. Glistening light fills my vision as the world starts to fall apart. My world is falling apart.

  
  


Tears start to soak letters I’m holding; clutching, even. I’m going to rip them apart if I don’t stop. But it’s impossible. Everything is crumbling. A hammer hitting me against the head endlessly. 

  
  


I can’t have another failure.

  
  


I can’t have another _death_ , Grumbot.

  
  


I can’t-

  
  


I don’t want to leave you like this.

  
  


I don’t want this to be the end.

  
  


This _isn’t_ the end, is it?

  
  


I don’t want to let you go.

  
  


I can’t-

  
  


I can’t I can’t I-

  
  


… 

  
  


And suddenly, there’s warmth.

  
  


A warm, calm feeling lights ablaze on my shoulder.

  
  


Someone is talking, but I can’t tell what they’re saying. They’re shaking my shoulder. All I can make out is the raspy coughs I’m giving them as a response.

The warm feeling lights up on both shoulders now. I can feel it circling on my shoulders and the bottom of my neck. It’s.. nice. I can hear their mumbling, but it’s all fuzzy. 

  
  


Trying to swallow down the air is setting my throat on fire. At least I’m not coughing up a storm to breathe, I suppose.

A slight shuffling is ringing in my ears before I feel their hand on my cheek. “Grian?”  
  
  


Oh my god. _Mumbo._

  
  


I can feel his thumb wiping away tear stains on my cheek. “Can you hear me?”

  
  


Lifting my head up to him, I try to focus. Everything is blurry, but I can make out his silhouette. “.. Yeah. Yeah, I.. I can-”

  
  


A loud crack through my voice breaks at my throat, and threatens to spill out tears. I wonder how hard you have to bite your tongue to keep from breaking, but not to break your tongue apart… 

  
  


His voice catches me off guard. “Don’t waste your breath. It’s okay. You can just nod, if you wish.”

  
  


I quickly nod. He takes his hand from my face, and my hands start to feel warm. He intertwined our fingers. The soft feeling of his thumbs against the back of my hands..

  
  


I barely noticed I was ripping and clutching paper notes until I heard them un-crinkle when I let go. “Let’s get you home, Gri. We can chill out in the old base; I’ve got some tea if you’d like it. Whaddya think?”

  
  


The corners of my mouth turned up slightly as I nodded to him again.

  
  


“Perfect. C’mere, Gri. I got’cha.”

  
  


He put his arms around my waist, pulling me in close. The feeling of his heartbeat against my chest was oddly soothing. I put my arms around his neck in return, letting my weight fall onto his. 

  
  


All I can do is breathe in the scent of the rustling wind as his wings open against his back, and take to the skies. I let my eyes close and my mind slip into its’ imagination; I’d rather not look back to see… 

  
  


Yeah. let’s go home. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_“You don't have to do this, you know.”_

  
  


_Standing in front of his door, I twist and turn the keys in my fingers._

  
  


_“You’ve made it quite obvious what I’ve had to do.”_

  
  


_“Please, I can serve you well!”_

  
  


_“You’ve served me none.”_

  
  


_A loud bang of the door erupts through the house, shaking its foundation. I twist and turn the keys, waiting until it's’ satisfying lock clicks._

  
  


_We’re done here._

  
  
  


_He’ll be fine._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“We’re here, Gri.”

  
  


Blinking open my eyes, the light of the sky fills my vision. As my surroundings come more into view, I can recognize the large jungle trees and the mega builds looming over the dawn. 

  
  


As Mumbo’s feet land on the ground, mine follow. Unwrapping my arms from his neck, he pushes open the door, letting us inside. The smell of dusty wood pours out of the door, filling me with a sense of nostalgia. “You should probably rest, Gri. We can talk after.”

  
  


Forcing noise out of my throat, I try my best to ignore the burning. “No.. No, it’s okay. I don’t want to rest with this all in my chest.”

  
  


It’s clear by the way he turns and looks at me that he wasn't expecting that; whether it was my voice, or my answer. “Are.. you sure?”

  
  


I nod to him. A small smile tugs at his mouth as he walks into the home. “Okay, just let me grab you a drink first. Talking _has_ to hurt, by the sound of that voice.”

  
  


I sit down on his bed; it’s squeaky, and quite bouncy. I kick my feet back and forth over the edge. 

  
  


My eyes feel sore. I know I was crying, but was it _that_ bad? My face feels quite flushed, too.. 

  
  


Minutes pass, and Mumbo comes walking back into the room. The smell of green tea comes from the two cups he’s holding, filling my nose with delight. He hands me a cup.

  
  


“This should help your throat.”

  
  


Taking a sip, the warmth of the drink cascades down my throat, reliving my throat almost immediately. Almost as if it opened my throat up again. If I had no self control, I probably would’ve drank the whole drink in one gulp. Instead, swallowing down the remnants, I save some if it keeps hurting. “Thank you.”

  
  


“Less raspy sounding, at least.” He said with a soft smile. “You’re welcome, Gri. don’t even mention it.”

  
  


I watched the tea swirl in my cup. Time feels like its’ stopped.

  
  


“I suppose I owe you-” A burning cough bottles up in my throat. “- an explanation, hm?”

  
  


“I don’t think you _owe_ me one, but if you’re okay with it, I am quite concerned… ”

  
  


Taking in a few breaths, I take another sip of my tea. 

  
  


And I told him it all.

★


End file.
